I'm a little distracted right now - can't focus, want to start new things, can't sleep, and it's driving me crazy.
There are obvious causes - we're coming up to the one year anniversary of Nalani's birth and death, and my sister-in-law is about to give birth. She's a couple of days overdue now, and so my inlaws are ready at any moment to jump in the car and speed away up the coast. This pregnancy was announced 3 days before Nalani's due date, so has been a heartache since the start (yes, I know this is just my envy and jealousy, but there it is.)
All this has naturally got my mind lingering on births. DH and I still have not discussed the possibility of more children. First I was waiting to discuss Nalani's autopsy at the hospital. This happened, and then I waited for the report to arrive. This arrived in January. Now I am waiting for our niece/nephew to arrive, and my feelings to stabilise again. I know that I am still not capable of a rational conversation.
Lucas' illness has turned out to be a type of food poisoning, and a type which is notifiable to the Health Department. How embarassing. It's been agonising trying to remember where we ate 2 weeks ago, in case the Health Dept do ring and question us. I think he's turned the corner though. I hope so, as preschool is on Monday, and I don't want him to miss out too much right at the beginning.